Growing Up

that face kills me.

He is just growing up way too fast.

His words this last two weeks have just exploded.

"woot"-look

"dits"-this

airplane

juice

"kalanatu"-kalamaku

"luh dyou"-love you

"ni-ni"-night night

see ya

duck

Please and thank you are still some of my favorites though. he is just so sweet.

I know there's more I just can't think of them.

He:

meows like a cat

barks like a dog

can make an elephant noise

roar like a tiger

but oh birds are his favorite. Honestly our entire walk consists of "WOOT WOOT WOOT!" with finger points to all of the birds he finds. And he has the best eye for them let me tell you.

He can consistently open all the doors in the house. Yes that includes the bathroom and the pantry. Heaven help me.

He is in mostly 2t clothes. yes the size directly under Kala. I honestly just took a shirt out of Kala's drawer and put it direction on Benson's being.

He thinks he is large and in charge. and he Kind of is.

a victory

A half marathon has always been on my bucketlist. I just never realized how much work actually went into preparing for one! Back in October my friend Melissa talked me into training with her for the Phoenix Half Marathon. I was like heck why not, I am just finishing nursing, the weather will be great because lets be honest it's Phoenix in the winter, and having a partner will make me more motivated to get my butt out of bed at 6 in the morning! And the journey began. At the beginning I honestly kept wondering how in the world i would even run 4 let alone 13.1. I thought that there was no way my body would ever get to that point. For those of you who knew me in high school I was not a runner. I just never have been. I sprinted my freshman year. But endurance was not even a word in my vocabulary. My friend got injured just after christmas but I was too determined to quit because I had put way too much effort in thus far. So I continued on my own. Lets be honest, I was exhausted! I just never realized how much time it would take. But it became this love hate relationship. Oh the sunrise and the crisp morning air. Pure heaven. Heavenly Father definitely knew when i was having my rough days, because oh the most beautiful sunrise would appear. Perfection. It's like running helped me to REALLY breathe again. I forgot what that feeling was like. Everything else goes out the door and it was just me and running.

I started having nightmares two weeks before that I would get injured and i would be so crushed if that happened. (Honestly I can't imagine how an olympian feels haha!) Sure enough I rolled my ankle on one of my runs. I almost started bawling right on the spot. I luckily could walk it out and got to run the rest of the way home. It continued (continues) to be sore each time I ran but luckily I COULD STILL RUN! So thankful for that. I also got new shoes the weekend before the race at road runner sports. Honestly they are amazing. Highly recommend them. The shoe dogger was awesome. My times went down from 9:30 miles to 9:00 miles. I thought it was a fluke. But i guess wearing the right shoes, along with the right size (yes that's right I was wearing a half size too small in my previous shoes. go me.) Race day quickly started approaching and so did the weather reports. Friday  Sunny. Saturday 80% chance of rain. Sunday Sunny. Seriously! Rain!?!?! In arizona!?!?! I let it freak me out a little. Or a lot. I honestly had never once had to run in the rain during my training. Of course it was supposed to rain on race day. And it did. Luckily it didn't pour.

My friend got to still race so we started out the race together in the rain. it stopped. Then started up again two other times during the race.

All I have to say is that I psyched myself out so much. We started behind everyone because there were sooo many people and our bib's just registered as soon as we crossed the starting line. I held back at the beginning because I was convinced I was just getting excited and that i would probably be exhausted if I tried racing the whole time at that speed. I honestly passed people the entire time. So I thought I was going fast. It wasn't until mile 11 that I really realized how much energy I had left and how little I had left to run. So kicked it into gear. I really ran the last mile and sprinted the last quarter mile. My average pace ended up at 9:44 (which included walking while I was drinking) which is faster than my original goal when i first started this adventure. But somehow I still felt so disappointed in myself because I had been running so much faster in the past month.

I keep reminding myself. Michelle you ran 13.1 miles. far more than I ever could have imagined possible and faster that what my original goal was. I have never run in any race before, let alone a half marathon. All I can say is I can't wait for the next. I am officially an addict. Running is officially my thing. I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth but here i am!

So many times over the past year I have gotten discouraged with the things my body can't do. The restrictions that have been put on my health. It has been a learning curve. Each day it still is. It has gotten easier. Much easier. But watching my body change and be able to run that half marathon... was liberating. I am so grateful that I had this opportunity. For the love that grew for running. And for this body that I have been given. I have been blessed.

So, I have decided to count this a victory! 

I am woman. I am strong.

But that does not stop me from setting goals for next time.

• trust my body. listen to my body.
• run like I have trained
• i got a running watch to make sure I am truly at the pace I want! woo! (feeding the addiction) 

running across the finish 3.1.14

Here's to future races!! 

this mom's one man circus

This guy turned 18 months a few wells ago and I thought that regardless of how much more blogging I needed to get caught up on I'd post a little on him instead!

He is seriously a one man circus.

He climbs onto and into everything. Hence there is no longer a chair next to my hutch. The chairs at my table lay flat on the ground. And the baby gates stay locked for fear of what he'll get into by himself.

He says please and thank you all the time, except when I ask.

He says "wow" for anything he thinks is cool.

He says "wee" for anything he thinks is fun whether it's sliding down the slide or climbing up a ladder...

He says "mummy!" In a very excited tone only rarely when he absolutely loves what he's eating.

He definitely knows where the m&m jar is and goes over saying please ever so sweetly but quickly escalate to I screeching freaking out of a please quickly if he feels I am not listening. Even if I am and I'm just telling him no!

He loves loves loves his Aden and Anias blankets. And when I say love I mean love. And he just chews the heck out of it. Particularly the tags. It's so funny.

He loves mommy and daddy's toothbrushes.

He loves bath time.

He will only sign when he says more but it's on so gentle and sweet. It's hard though because he has a very loud voice otherwise so sometimes I don't realize he is signing until he is freaking out on me.

He snuggles into my shoulder melts my heart every. Single. Time.

My favorite is when I get home from my runs in the morning and he has just woken up he comes running around the corner giggling and so happy to see me. It makes me feel so happy.

He is super intense.

He has cried in nursery every single week so I've had to stay with him.

He is very apprehensive of new people.

He is so brave.

And very calculated.

Last week a hard struggling while I was making dinner and I turned to tell Kala to get off his brother when it was actually Benson laying on him. I warned Kala that this day would come.

He just seems so grown up all of a sudden and I just want to breathe in every single moment.

Bowling

We went on a much needed date this week.

It was so much fun!

It was a double date with some friends. Honestly the best time we've had in a while! 

We got ice cream then went bowling.

Kaulana rocked.

I less than rocked.

But we just had a blast.

It happened to be the bowling alley the hubbs first told me he loved me.

Oh sweet memories.

Blessed.

I was the only one that got velcro shoes. haha they said I have little kid feet. bahaha

journaling

Ok excuse the not having posted in forever. I hate posting without pictures but I never get the chance to use the computer with kaulana always having it for school! But i just wanted to record a few things. Yesterday Benson gave us real kisses with his mouth closed for the first time. Melt my heart. It was the sweetest dang thing in the world. I started teaching Kala his letters. One letter per week, starting with A of course. We've been doing lots of simple activities. Honestly it was one of my only new years resolutions haha. I may have had a disaster house ALL WEEK LONG but oh the joy in that boys eyes was to die for. He has been so so happy all week. Yes we've had our melt downs. We are human over here. But oh there was so much kindness in this boys actions this week. He has never really been that into activities but he has been having a blast. He asks for them daily, if not more than once a day. Learning can be fun can't it! Kala went into sunbeams for the first time a few weeks ago. He has cried every week that I have dropped him off and clung to my dress for dear life. I guess he's only cried for like a minute each time. He loves it and talks about it all week. I have thought each time that he was just going to love it since it's all he talks about. Fat chance mom. I think it's just so much and he just is so tender hearted and nervous by lots of commotion. Benson goes into nursery in a couple weeks. I've gone in to warm him up. This first time he was playing so well they just told me to leave him no big deal since 21 kids had just left for sunbeams. Ya not a minute later I hear this bloody murder scream coming down the hallway. I didn't even make it into relief society. Yup that was my kid. Momma's boy to the core. Now he won't even let me move a muscle without starting to cry. Yes even if I'm holding him. he has to be within arms distance if not directly on my lap. Anyone that has seen him at home can vouch for me in saying that he is a one man circus act. It's a full time job just making sure he doesn't kill himself let alone get the housework done and food on the table. But somehow he just knows how to grab my heart. He officially says please as of a week or two ago (he has said thank you for a while) he signs it to me and says "pwees pwees pwees" over and over in the sweetest little voice. If he hasn't grabbed my attention he starts saying it more abruptly. and LOUD NOISES comes to mind. true to Benson fashion. I love that boy. I've also been training for a half marathon. It has been so incredible. I never thought my body would ever be able to run 9 miles. And yes in fact i ran 9.27 (a 9 minute 46 second avg mile too) on saturday! Holy smokes I'm so excited. I never realized just how much work went into training for a half marathon. Particularly through the holidays. It's been incredible though. The time to myself in the mornings while running is... there are just no words. Somedays I swear I just can't breathe as a mom, it's hard. Life has been particularly exhausting lately. But then heavenly father gives me a sunrise and oh how I know that he loves me. I'm so grateful that I have been able to set this goal for myself. It has been so exciting! The body is a beautiful thing that's for sure!

Here's to journaling a little bit more!